DOHA: A woman marriage counsellor, citing that a third of marriages in the Arab world end in divorce due to cheating by spouses, has urged couples to act coolly and with wisdom if the partner is found cheating, and not take rash decisions.
The counsellor said the aim of a spouse who has been cheated, should be to help save their marriage rather than break it after bouts of fight.
Counsellor, Dr Mirfat Saeed, cited a true story of a maid who was repatriated to her home country by the lady of the house when her husband was overseas.
When the husband returned, he asked the wife about the missing maid and was told, to his utter shock, that she was packed off home because she was found to be afflicted by the deadly HIV virus.
The husband went for all kinds of medical tests (to see if he had HIV) and until the results were out, he remained worried.
He tested negative and took a sigh of relief, but scared and regretful that he was, he went to his wife and vowed that he would never ever do anything that would compromise his conscience.
Dr Saeed, a counsellor at Family Counselling Centre, told the local Arabic daily Al Raya in an interview published yesterday that the wife had a simpler option — of picking up a fight with her cheating husband that would rock their marriage.
But not only the woman saved their marriage but also made sure that her husband realised his mistake and rectified his behaviour.
Dr Saeed reiterated that cheating by husbands was one of the major reasons of divorce and ‘khula’ (when wives insist on divorce from their husbands) in the Arab world.
The emergence of social media and online chatting forums is ruining marriages on a large scale across the Arab world as men get busy, glued to the Internet and the chatting platforms most of the time and ignore their wives.
At least 75 percent of women spy on their husbands and when the latter come to know of it, they are furious and end their marriage.
“My advice to women who suspect or come to know that their husbands are cheating is to act coolly and not pick up instant fight. They should instead think of how to save their marriage by making their husbands realise their mistake and rectify their behaviour.”
She said it was easier for a woman to fight and destroy her marriage and home. “Use your brains.”
The counsellor said many men surf pornographic sites and that is one of the reasons why they are always unsatisfied with their wives.
Studies suggest that such men gradually develop cold relationship with their wives as they become devoid of emotion for their partner.
the peninsula
